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about

This song is a representation of every time I’ve ever bent too far backwards for someone. It took me a long time to get honest about how angry I was about the resentment that lingered from every relationship I’d ever been in. This was all amplified when I became a mother. All the external and internal expectations of what it means to be a good mom are like a buffet for the over-achieving, people pleaser...

Even when I first started performing this song, it was a super folky and chipper guitar tune. Now, it’s kinda dark, kinda sexy… And a whole lot of honesty.

lyrics

I used to hide myself
I guess wasn’t listening

I’d to everything to keep you around
Expecting things to stay the same

thought it was a good thing
guess I wasn’t listening

We try to find the piece that is missing
find the ass we are kissing
wouldn’t miss us if we tried
If I could just find another way
this mother of a woman is doing just fine

I’d gotten pretty good at
Anticipating
Bend over backwards for you
Didn’t want hear that
I had
Ulterior motives and crippling fears
kept me always waiting
I could never ask for any more

thought it was a good thing
guess I wasn’t listening

We try to find the piece that is missing
find the ass we are kissing
wouldn’t miss us if we tried
If I could just find another way
this mother of a woman is doing just fine

But I’d overextend
and I’d make you depend on me
Never regretting
while breaking a sweat
the promise I made,
not that I ever told you,
You took advantage
and I felt ashamed

saw you for who you’d become
Not for who you were then
After all of the pieces and bits
of the dreams that we shared
and the ones that we would leave be-
hind I just never thought I would be one of them

thought it was a good thing
guess I wasn’t listening

thought it was a good thing
guess I wasn’t listening

We try to find the piece that is missing
find the ass we are kissing
wouldn’t miss us if we tried
If I could just find another way
this mother of a woman

We try to find the piece that is missing
Then we find that the ass we are kissing
wouldn’t miss us if we tried
If I could just find another way
to know this mother of a woman is doing just fine

credits

from Breastmilk + Tears (Pt​.​1), released March 25, 2022
Written by Hilary Ladd & Erin Costelo
Produced & Mixed by Erin Costelo
Mastered by J. Lapointe

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Hilary Ladd Saint John, New Brunswick

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